Thankful

I think this is the first Thanksgiving Day that I haven’t seen my parents.  Don’t feel bad for me, I just spent 5 days in Michigan with my parents and my sister and her family.  We had some stuff going on that required schedule adjustments, so we did our “Apfelgiving” together last Saturday.  While I was driving from Kalamazoo back to Cleveland yesterday I had some time to think and that led to this post.  I’m thankful for so many things.

First and foremost I’m thankful that as I approach my 47^th birthday, the parents my sister and I used to call the “old parents” are still with us.  While we can still all frustrate each other, we’re lucky to have each other and that we can always come together on important days.  You think you’re funny when you're a kid and say you have the “old” parents because they’re in their forties and your friends’ parents are in their thirties…it’s a gift when you realize your "old" folks have outlived a lot of those peers.

I’m thankful that my sister and I can spend our adult lives hundreds of miles apart, see each other a few times a year and still have a pretty cool bond.  We were a team as kids and when it needs to happen we’re still that team today.  I’m thankful that even as he becomes a sometimes stereotypical teenager, my 13 year old nephew still wants me to play video games with him.  And I’m thankful that while he used to lay his head on my shoulder, now when I lay my head on his shoulder the man-child lays his head on top of mine.

Since my blog is about Type 1 diabetes, I can’t leave that off the list.  I’m not grateful I have Type 1, I’d obviously rather take a pass on that.  But I’m thankful that I got it instead of it hitting anyone I know.  I’m thankful I live in a time and place where insulin exists and that I have the access, insurance coverage and finances that make it easy to get everything I need to stay alive.  I’m grateful that it eventually stopped making me insane and became a (mostly) seamless part of everyday life.

I’m thankful that I’m healthy, even though I’m “sick.”  I’m thankful for the 3 crazy friends who are willing to follow my Dexcom and check on me when my sugar is low, including the text and phone call that jolted me just after 3:30 this morning.  It’s an incredible gift that you’re all willing to lose sleep to make sure I wake up.  I’m thankful to have a friend who was with me the day I was diagnosed, who carries glucose in case I run out, who learned how to stab me and check my blood sugar when I can’t, and who wants to learn how to inject insulin in case I’m in the hospital one day and can’t do it myself.  But to be honest…she’ll never read this far because my blog posts have too many words for her liking. J 

Because of our schedule adjustment this week, I’m watching the Lions Thanksgiving game for the first time in a long time instead of listening in the car on the way to see my family.  I’m not sure if I’ll be too thankful about that later!  I’m 100% looking forward to seeing the Michigan vs. Ohio State game for the first time since they moved the game back a week, since I’m usually enjoying family time instead.  Go Blue!  And since it’s the little things that really matter most in life, I’m thankful that my dad hooked me up with my favorite breakfast on earth for the second time since T1D landed in our world.  His French Toast, made with my mom’s homemade Challah and topped with her homemade raspberry jam...it's breakfast perfection.  I had the leftovers here at home for Thanksgiving.  Smucker's sugar free raspberry is nowhere near the real thing, but it was still a great start to the day.

Enjoy the holiday and your families and friends.  I don’t say it often enough - thank you for reading.  I’m so grateful for all of you following along.

Why I Lose Sleep

It's 2:30 in the morning and I'm watching my sugar drop on the Dexcom app.  From 54 to 49 to 46, I'm lying in bed with my phone open, sweating.  I've eaten three glucose tabs and two Tums and I just want to go to sleep.  But I can't until my sugar goes up.  This is type one diabetes.  I may have food poisoning, I'm not sure.  So far I've kept my burger down.  If I'm sick this could turn into a really long night.  Another glucose tab, waiting for my sugar to go up.  The sweating is getting worse and I'm shaking, waiting for the next number to come up.  I still just want to go to sleep, but with a glucose of 47 it's just not time yet, so instead I'm laying here dictating a note to my phone to document type one.  This is no joke, it's no game and it's no fun.  I'm up to 51 my heart is pounding and I don't know if I can go to sleep yet.  But with my sugar going in the right direction I'm going to try.  Thanks, T1.
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The note above is one that I dictated into my phone last year and then forgot about.  Other than edits for punctuation this is how it came out that night lying in bed.  Fortunately something this dramatic doesn't happen very often, but there are always going to be nights like this that make no sense.  This is reality for people with Type 1.

The image below is my JDRF footprint through this evening.  It's based on an average of 5 finger pricks a day - I'm typically close to double that.  The injections are an average of 7 a day, which is probably a little low but not too far off.  And the hours of sleep lost?  I have no idea.  They usually aren't quite as dramatic as the night above, but it's a good example.  In comparison, I was up at 4 AM today doing an injection because I was higher than I like to be.  It goes both ways.  These numbers represent just 4.5 years.  I never knew anything about this before I was diagnosed, but I'm going to keep telling my story and watching these numbers climb until somebody figures out a solution.