It’s day 4 and blog week is almost over. Thanks for reading! Today’s topic is about mental health and the
emotional impact of diabetes:
Today let’s revisit a prompt from 2014 - Mental Health
Month so now seems like a great time to explore the emotional side
of living with, or caring for someone with, diabetes. What things can make
dealing with diabetes an emotional issue for you and / or your loved one, and
how do you cope?
My emotions around T1
have evolved since I was diagnosed 3 years ago.
Until around this time last year my reactions could be intense. Highs and lows, especially sudden extreme
lows, made me crazy. I was angry, in
tears and saying “I hate this!” when things didn’t go the way I wanted. Somewhere last spring that changed. It wasn’t a conscious decision or something I
was aware of when it happened. As months
went by I just realized I wasn’t having that kind of reaction
anymore. Why? I’m not entirely sure.
What do I think? Largely that I’ve acclimated to life
with Type 1. The shock has worn off, I’ve
made adjustments over days and months to how I manage my disease, and it’s just
gotten easier. Not easy, but
easier. Acceptance took some time, but
here I am. Now when I hear someone
describe T1 as “a nightmare” I’m inclined to feel like maybe they’re
overstating things. Not that this isn’t
a dangerous, scary full time disease – it is and I certainly never forget
that. But it’s doable and something I’m
thriving with.
That said, I worry
even more over time about the reactions and emotions of the people who love
me. My “people” hate it whenever I mention
that I recently read about another death in the T1 community. While this is my reality it’s a shock to
people like my parents to be reminded that this could all end in a way that
none of us want to see. A friend who is a breast cancer survivor has pointed out several times that illness is often
harder on everyone else than it is on the person who is sick. I think we’ve reached that point in my T1
experience. I’m good with it, while the
people who love me continue to be shocked and scared by the possibilities. I only wish I could make it easier for them,
and hope that reading my blog and seeing me do well with T1D and with the rest
of my life help a little bit. This
helps me, too. Blogging isn’t only about
helping other people understand my disease; telling my story is a kind of
therapy for me.
Does all of this mean
I’m always 100% thrilled and happy with my T1 life? Not at all.
I get burned out sometimes with the constant management and the ever-present
reminders about T1. Something as small
as giving myself a shot can bring an “ugh” just because there are so
very many of them every day and I'd really like to be done with this. Like most
people with T1 I’ve been known to “rage bolus” when my sugar refuses to come
down for no reason. That always lets me
extend my frustration when my sugar later comes crashing down as a
result. Sometimes on the weekend when I’m
spending several hours in the kitchen cooking the week’s meals, I’m jealous of
the friends I know are relaxing and enjoying the time off. It can approach bitterness once in a while, I
won’t deny that. But I make the choice
to do it, too. So I remind myself that
it’s a decision I’m making for me, and that helps. You always hear that happiness is a
choice. I didn’t choose to get Type 1,
and if I got to vote I’d give it back in a millisecond. But I can also choose to be happy and diabetic
at the same time. Anything else wouldn’t
really work for me.
Some great diabetes bloggers from around the world share their thoughts on mental health here.
Are you coming late to my blog party this week? Find the first 3 posts below.
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